Try Goals Instead of Resolutions for 2012
12/29/11

      New Years resolutions. The very phrase elicits knowing little smiles, chuckles and sometimes outright guffaws. No matter how fervent our desire to give up old habits and adopt new ones, no matter how bold our statements of intent or how many people we tell, even our best resolutions for the year ahead seem to get lost in the shuffle before Valentine's Day arrives.
      I know people who have failed so often to keep their New Year’s resolutions that they have given up making them altogether. This is unfortunate, because New Year’s is an ideal time for making life changes.
      Chinese New Year, Rosh Hashanah, Samhain, Vesak and other holiday traditions that offer us a chance to reflect and set a new course can be just as meaningful, individually, culturally and spiritually. However, at New Year’s on the Gregorian or Western Calendar — the only internationally accepted civil calendar — humanity’s collective inspiration and joyous sense of renewal surges to a fever pitch all over the planet.
      The many New Year’s occasions where crowds gather to count down the last remaining seconds of the old year and cheer in the new with fireworks-filled ceremonies are not only celebrated around the world, they are shared, through the medium of television; and those who watch these events are privileged to witness humanity’s diverse races and cultures united, if only for a brief 24-hour period, in the joyous spirit of self-renewal.
      Little wonder that so many of us want to take advantage of this magnificent energy by resolving to live our lives differently in the coming year. But if New Year’s resolutions end up failing us (or we failing them), then what good is this special window of opportunity?
      I recommend scrapping resolutions altogether and setting goals for the new year instead. Why? Because New Year’s resolutions center on resolve, a moment of intention, while goals, which require some careful thought and a solid plan of action, have a much better chance of fulfillment. Grounding oneself in forethought and an action plan might be particularly useful with this upcoming year, with the Mayan Calendar prophecies having generated such a buzz around 2012 as the final year of a completed cycle. Learn more.
      Let’s say you’re setting a goal of giving up old habits and following new ones; or that you want to acquire something, such as a new attitude, hobby, skill, or material possession. Or maybe you desire to make a more radical change, perhaps by moving to some other place. Following are some tips to keep in mind as you set your goals, so that you manifest the changes you want and not end up feeling disappointed with yourself.

1. Examine your interior motives for setting this goal. This is perhaps the most important step, because if you can’t get in touch with your innermost need for change, or if you’re just going along with someone else’s goal for the ride, you may be setting yourself up for failure. For example, losing weight to improve overall health is a worthy motive, but if your real motive is wanting to wear your stylish skinny clothes again, then be honest with yourself about that, and use that reason, not someone else’s, to motivate you.

2. If your goal is to correct an existing problem, look a little deeper into yourself and strive to understand the problem's root cause. Many an individual has made a career change or ended a relationship only to discover that the problem they sought to correct is still there, and they experience a profound sense of regret. Don’t let this happen to you. Understand your problem at its source, then plan to correct it at its source.

How do you discover the root cause of a problem? It begins with being brutally honest with yourself. Beyond that, there are numerous methods. Spending time in nature helps the mind to expand and relax, allowing important thoughts and inner truths to surface. Talking to a friend or counselor can provide fresh insights, both from within and from the other person. Recording and examining your dreams may help. Oracles too can shed light on deeper levels of your psyche. Meditation may be another means.

3. Next, examine your circumstances and ask yourself if the upcoming year is the most appropriate one to achieve your goal. It may be that your goal is better set for the following year, or even the one after that. This is especially true in situations where other people's lives are involved, where shaky economic conditions prevail, or where you are waiting for other events to fall into place.

4. Know what your goal involves — all aspects of it, not just the more glamorous parts. Relocating to another area comes to mind here as an example of an action that often involves unwanted surprises. Let's say you want to move to Buenos Aires, and you picture yourself meeting new people, taking fun day trips, and enjoying the city's wonderful nightlife. Well and good, but there's probably more to it than that. Moving, as we know, is one of life's major stressors, and moving to another country will likely involve paperwork, waiting periods, application fees, inoculations, culture shock, acclimation and more. Do your research. Know what you'll be getting yourself into every step of the way. Learn more.

5. Decide how you will make room in your life for that which you want. Failure to do this will not only reduce your chance of realizing your goal, it may end up creating a hardship for yourself and others. Which things are you willing to substitute, acquire, postpone, revamp, delegate, or combine to meet your goal successfully? And how will you do this? If your goal is to get more exercise, for example, you might consider acquiring a piece of exercise equipment so you can exercise while reading or watching TV at home. Inclement weather will be one less excuse not to exercise. Or, if you can only get to the gym during times when you usually prepare dinner, consider acquiring a slow cooker or delegating that job to another.

6. Match the execution of your goal to your personality, and look to your own experience for the right method. If your goal is to create a positive new habit or to eliminate a negative one, for example, choose the method that worked well for you in other situations. If you know from experience that going cold turkey doesn’t work for you, then design a gradual phase-in (or phase-out) plan.

7. Don’t take on the impossible. Deciding to become an Olympic figure skating champion next year when you’ve never tried on a pair of ice skates is too lofty a goal to achieve in one year. Dream big but keep it real.

8. Pace yourself, and build some flexibility into your action plan by allowing for possible scheduling changes, minor mishaps and emergencies.

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